The Wedding Planner

We've had a few gorgeous spring days in London recently. For some reason my thoughts are going back to our wedding day last summer. It was the hottest day of the year so perhaps that is what has prompted my thoughts.

Sufficient time has passed now that I can look back objectively and perhaps pass on some words of advice. Being a woman, I am writing this post from the Brides point of view and therefore it's primarily addressed to women but hopefully interesting to all.

I'm going to split this into three different posts:

1. Planning & Organisation

2. Doing things differently; Finding Suppliers

3. Guests; Things going wrong & Chilling out


Planning & Organisation
I spent 18 months planning our wedding. It sounds a long time but I'm glad I started early. It was made more complicated by the fact that we weren't getting married locally and we had some international guests. Instead of tackling everything at once, I addressed one thing at a time - starting with the date, church and reception venue bookings. Once they were in place, the schedule for booking and planning everything else pretty much fell in to place. I couldn't just pop round to see my suppliers so meetings had to be scheduled in clusters when I could travel home.

At the begining of your planning, get an idea of what sort of wedding you want and give yourself more than enough time to do it all. Lists are good! :o)

My Mum told her friends that I wanted every major thing done one month before the wedding, and all the little things done one week before the wedding, except the last minute things that have to be done on the day. They all laughed saying there was bound to be a last minute panic the night before, that I wouldn't manage it.

Guess what? the week before the wedding, all I had to do was pack our clothes and make a few phone calls to check arrangements. The days before the wedding family friends were asking for jobs to do. And I replied there are none (and yup, it felt good!). We pottered around, spent a few nights in the pub swapping stories with old friends and generally chilling out (which was needed as the nerves were beginning to kick in).

Step One - You and your fiance need to sit down and work out what you want out of your day. Men will have different areas of interests. They may not care about the colour of the napkins, but they'll probably be interested in the choice of food and drink. Always offer to include your partner in decision making (after all the day is all about partnership!) but if they're not bothered don't be offended.

Remember to separate the "wedding day" from the act of "getting married".

Now you have a first draft wedding. Once you have decided what sort of day you want - religious, civil, formal, informal, themed, etc - stick to your guns. You may have to compromise, through cost, availability, common sense, but don't compromise on the essence of your day.

Step Two - Your families have hopes and dreams too. Your mother has probably been thinking about your wedding day for many years! Explain what you want from your day and find out what their expectations are. They may suggest something that you'd never thought about. Consider this input. There may be things that you want to incorporate, other things that you'll compromise on, and others that you absolutely do not want. I'm not advocating being a prima donna or bridezilla but you want to create happy memories that you'll fondly remember for the est of your life, not have regrets about what you should have done.

Once you've got an idea of what you want - look at what's out there. There are plenty of websites, wedding magazines, chat sites, the celebrant, local suppliers, wedding fairs, etc, etc. But one word of warning - it is very, VERY easy to get carried away. The wedding industry is a massive one. There are many suppliers out there who try to persuade you that you really need their personalised product, their specialist service. I'm sure they all do a fabulous job but you need to assess each to see if they fit with your ideas and your budget.

You have to be brutally honest about what can be afforded. Dependent upon your cultural background, family circumstances and personal choice, it may be you, your family, your fiance's family, or a combination of these who will be funding the wedding. It can be very difficult to talk money but each contributing party should be encouraged to say honestly what they can afford of what aspect they would like to pay for. You should discuss your wishes for that aspect of the day and work together on the budget.

Speadsheet's are a bride's best friend! :o)

Tune in tomorrow for doing things differently and finding suitable suppliers.

Happy Journeys.